I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
