Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think my moral compass just broke
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
