Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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