youre lurking in front of me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
