why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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