I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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