All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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