I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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