I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she smelled like a LAN party
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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