My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
