I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
