thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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