how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
