I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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