i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
