so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
did you just send me my own nude
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
