Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just found a bag of teeth...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
