I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
