I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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