I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize