Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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