Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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