girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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