then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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