My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
