i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize