this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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