just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
