And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
