did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize