You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
