This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
