i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
