can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Your penis caused this!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
