every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
