think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
