I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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