Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
