I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
