chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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