I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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