Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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