hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize