called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
