I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
