oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My brain says no but my pants say off.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
