i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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