I just saw a hot homeless man
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
