It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
