I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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