yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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