Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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