Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
