I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
