we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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