I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
