I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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