I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
