I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
