Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
