What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
