Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
