yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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