I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
