am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
