Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
