Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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