So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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