I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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