Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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