Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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