I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize