He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
