Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize