Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize