She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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